When I am down I must...

3 Gifts Learned...

I've been here before...      
and what did I learn?

remind myself...

Do not ask myself "How I feel?" Feelings are not what I am.
 Feelings are just flags to things happening deeper down.
What is it really? Ask the deep questions... unlayer the onion...

Tears overwhelming me... I pick up the phone. Dialing his very familiar number... my darling.

I have learned I must talk it out. I need to voice those thoughts that roll around inside. Many of them will become visibly foolish when spoken...I need to see them disappear... bubbles bursting.

with grateful thanks LomaPhotograpy©

Needing to be patient as I help his male-mind connect the dots already formed in my rabbit warren female-mind. His once disdained, logical viewpoint is now highly valued and sought after. He shows me another viewpoint.
He reminds me I am loved and I am grateful.

The second thing I have learned is to look at surrounding situations.
Am I too tired? Yes, YES, and YES!!!
Am I feeling frazzled with too many things on? Are there issues sitting unresolved in my heart that are causing my emotional reservoir to leak?
I have a sleep.

with grateful thanks LomaPhotography©

Talked through and somewhat refreshed by a sleep, I have learned to get up and do, and in the doing...sing.

Sometimes I cannot sing- too many emotions still close to the surface...brimming over, so I play music and let the words and the music wash over me.

I soak in the positive words... the God-praise.


So, I am off to clean my room. Fold clothes and put them away, tidy up and dust a little.
Maybe change my earrings and run the comb through my hair... and sing!

with grateful thanks LomaPhotography©

Lift up my eyes to the hills which is where my help comes from. Psalm 121:1

~~~~~

"1000 Gifts"...

#173  Inclusion

#174  Saturday

#175  Water fights as boys clean the cars

#176  Listening to my kids laughing together

#177  A sleep

#178  Emergency emotional download calls to my darling

#179  His patient listening ear

#180  Messages reminding me that my story matter to HIM

#181  Light through afternoon sun showers

"Happy Birthday to You!"

A gift of Life, Growth, Decline...

Birthday thoughts swirling... again... 50 times over.

with grateful thanks Loma Photography©

I ponder where I am going in this life-gift He's given to me.

Youth thought it was forever...new depths of realization dawning as to the proximity of my 'use-by-date'. What might that be? Do I have 20...30...40 'good' years left?
If more than, or at least half, of my time is over, what have I accomplished? What do I count for?

with grateful thanks Loma Photography©

I talk to others older... further along.
I listen to experience and wisdom...

They tell me tales of oak trees that spend 50 yrs on only growth... growth slow and sure... roots deep, branches wide. Only after 50 yrs of preparation does the time of fruit come. What the oak tree was created for...

I hear of some with great lists of accomplishments, tell me it all means nothing...it's the lessons they have learned in showing love to someone close that they consider their greatest work.

with grateful thanks Loma Photography©

Drawing it around themselves like a heavy cloak, I watch people slowly put on old age. Bodies frail and failing... pace slowing, but with prayer becoming their constant companion. Warriors of heaven... champions of those still coming.


It would seem as if these human bodies we are gifted with, are the cocoon for the emerging butterfly of our spirit.


Becoming a friend of God... forged in this life... growth nurtured through years of relating to Him... Decline of the body heralding the greatest work of all... two becoming one.

~~~~~

"1000 Gifts"...

#155  Girl talks with our son

#156  Impromptu photo sessions

#157  Blue eyes twinkling

#158  Dog indulging in warmth of the sun

#159  Giggles with daughter

#160  Coffee date set

#161  Running tongue around clean teeth

#162  "Aha!" moments with new ideas

#163  Friends who send 'spot-on' youtube clips... thanks for listening to His nudge

#164  Strawberries & vanilla ice-cream

Pouring it on.

3 GIFTS IN JARS...

Water  filling...those empty jars being filled... clean life-giving water for the thirsty

Son is watching as I fill each jar... ever thinking, he's done it since small.
He watches as I adjust lighting and get camera ready... take photos of water jars in a row.

"Those jars are like us, Mum. 'Full' is like someone who spends a lot of time with God and His Word, ...' half-full', even 'quarter-filled'...doesn't matter how much water is in them there is always someone that our water can bless.
It's really all about grace - His grace. It just overflows from our jar and spills over into their's,... even if their's is fuller than our's."

"May I use your wise words?"
"Sure, Mum." Smile quietly peeking ... "There's no copyright yet."

I enjoy a laugh with my thoughtful son.

I ponder his words of wisdom...his jar emptied into me "...even a quarter-filled jar can overflow grace and blessing for someone."

"Might I have a small amount of water for someone, Lord?"

Phone call ... a heart heavy with the burdens of life. They share some of their story, and I feel for them.

I have no magic answers. No "Thus, saith the Lord..." No, this is how to make it right". I wish I did, so I could ease it for them.

Instead, I find myself asking them if they can see the gift in their situation. Find the blessing that God is gift-wrapping for them in their mess. Revel in His great love for them. Give Him grateful thanks.

This is the water He has been graciously pouring into my jar... received that I might give.

~~~~~

"1000 Gifts"...


#147 Washing drying in strong breeze
#148 Phone calls that keep in touch
#149 laughing with my darling
#150 hearing his day
#151 the opportunity to pour it on
#152 fresh apple
#153 the soft taste of filtered water
#154 excitement to read yesterday's psalms again now that I have more context...makes so much more sense!

BUT LOVE...

3 GIFTS IN WEAKNESS...

It had always been that way... dark ... lonely blackness ... painful ugliness. That is all I knew. I had heard the happy people say it should be different, but, since the day of my entry to this world, this was all I knew... my reality.

BUT LOVE...God was always close...a gift

I got married.
My darling wanted to come into my world. He wanted to be close. He was optimistic... positive.

I didn't feel understood... retreated further into the darkness.

BUT LOVE... My darling chose to love me...a gift
He loved me for twelve years without saying a word, before I came to see that I was not well. I had a weakness.

Ten further years my darling loved me before I knew I was free of the darkness.

I had been made weak by the lies fed to me by the enemy of my soul. I chose to believe them... formed beliefs around these lies...convinced by the evidence I saw.

BUT LOVE...God reached out and slowly unraveled the chains that bind.  His strength... a gift

He taught me... I learned... slowly... 2 steps forward, 1 step back... this opportunity to learn, a gift.

He led me... still leads me... my Shepherd.

BUT LOVE...

This freedom is humbling... bends my knee in worship...Forever grateful.

~~~~~

"1000 Gifts"...

#138  A walk in the rain

#139  Opportunity to bless daughter with a ride to the bus stop in the heavy rain

#140  Son company in the supermarket

#141  Conversation with family Bible readings

#142  Finding the missing invoice

#143  Sun peeking through at day's end

#144  Quiet family time

#145  Remembering His goodness

#146  Sick son's goodnight request to not wake him in the morning unless he's dead :)

Victorious through RHYTHM, RHYME & REASON

Intertwined gifts ~

The RHYTHM of the home-schooling drum started beating again today. Third term commences...
19 years and it's still makes my insides hurt ... like a heavy bass in a confined space.

But the gift of RHYTHM has brought another gift...DISCIPLINE
(no wonder my insides hurt...who likes that word?!)

When we started home educating, discipline was not a quality I had very much of. But as I submit to the RHYTHM, I find DISCIPLINE tags along like an uninvited, but not unwanted, friend. The steady RHYTHM of home educating and I, may still not be BFFs (I prefer, by nature, a freer rhythm), but we sure do get along betterer and betterer the more time we spend together.

When I look in envy at my darling's disciplined nature, he tells me the secret is in 'not giving one-self a choice'. Do not ask yourself what you feel like. If you go down that path you'll only get trouble. Instead, just go with the RHYTHM...the RHYTHM of the alarm clock, the RHYTHM of the day's requirements...the RHYTHM of life.

 I try...I fail...I try again...I do a little better

The RHYME of home educating has changed over the years. It's also been a gift.
It used to have verses of games, crafts and fun-based learning. The next stanza - projects, groups and integrated learning. Now in senior years it is much more memorization, studying and text-book learning. But what a lot I've learned as we've gone through it with each one.

The poetry of it all as a whole, etched in the overflowing minds of my children.

But have I done this labour of love for the beauty of the RHYME, or the discipline of the RHYTHM? A resounding 'NO'! There is a REASON!

A REASON...a hope...a dream that we work towards. The REASON makes us keep going when the RHYTHM is hard. The REASON makes us search out new RHYMES to help us through. The REASON makes us able to stand strong and weather the tough times.

RHYTHMs  and RHYMEs help REASON to cross the finish line ...victorious!

~~~~~

"1000 gifts"...

#128  An early morning 'goodbye' cuddle 

#129  Nice memories of yesterday

#130  More fb birthday wishes

#131  Photography tip from creative daughter

#132  The familiar rhythm of school

#133  Daughter's piano chords emerging into a song

#134  Being reminded of the reason we home educate

#135  Easy dinners

#136  Phone call to my darling

#137  Smoothie from kind son